Is it possible to be too much of an open book? Can people know too much about you? When should one hold back? What should one hold back? Does one hold back to protect themselves or other people? At what point does one have too much personality? Does having too much to say diminish what was said? What if…
What prompted this pondering blog?! Funny though, I have been questioning this myself today…though I also wonder if it’s not openness itself that’s the question but situational openness. Like, I find myself open when it comes to friends and family, even strangers who read my blogs….but I’m more guarded when related to work (due to the nature of my job) or dating. I sometimes get paranoid about clients being able to find things out about me on facebook, myspace, or even my blog (though almost impossible since it’s obscure). I thought I was the only one who was paranoid, but just today I overheard one of my coworkers (a therapist) telling our other coworker that though she has a facebook account, she doesn’t have her picture on the front because she’s paranoid about clients seeing her picture,etc. I realized I’m not the only one!
I think most times it can be to protect oneself, more so one’s reputation/character. Or maybe you don’t feel comfortable having someone see you in a different context, even if that’s not realistic or even practical. Irrational as it may be, I think that’s what it comes down to….it just shows up in different ways for everyone.
I was also thinking today about how GOOD all my therapist coworkers seem…like they have no vices. They eat well/aren’t fat, seem emotionally balanced, are kind, and only swear once in awhile. Now, maybe I just haven’t seen them in a different context and granted, it’s only been a week I’ve known them….but I had to wonder if my not being more open to share more about myself than I have with them has to do with this very issue….like they would be shocked if I showed them my usual sense of humor or showed any remote kind of cynicism about anything. Is it to protect me or them? I don’t know.
I do think any extreme can be a bad thing though…not sharing at all on one end or being overly open on the opposite end of the spectrum. There are some things better left unsaid (“too much information”) and/or may come across as self-absorption by the listener (even if unintentional), ya know?
Anyway, I don’t have the answer…but I like your questions. Makes one think….