I returned to school today after 5 days of rest, relaxation and complete isolation. I was worried at first that spending 5 days without my friends (Texas or Chicago) would drive me insane. However, I found that time alone is just what the doctor ordered. I was able to do exactly what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I feel like I was able to get my life back on track.
But then came Monday….
I’m not complaining about my day. In fact, Monday was quite lovely. My bratty girl lost her pictures, just like I told her she would if she took her pictures before break. I have all my lessons planned for the week. The main apprehension lies in coming to school I think. It is the unexpected. Will my lesson work today? Will my kids behave? Do I know everything I need to? After your first two periods, though questions are answered and you move on. But the next morning, you wake up once again, wondering….
I realize now that I’m not going to be a good teacher this year. I’ll just do well enough to not be a bad teacher.
Food for thought:
In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day’s work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years. ~Jacques Barzun
If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn’t want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher’s job. ~Donald D. Quinn
MRC
When I was teaching my first class, I found that I was so nervous that my students would discover that I didn’t really know what I was talking about. But, by the time I taught the second class, I was so much more comfortable. Don’t worry, it just takes time and trial run to become comfortable with your lesson plans and the material. Consider these kids as your guinea pigs.
Maybe that’s why TFA requires a two-year commitment. If they let you leave after one year, nobody would have positive experiences to share. After your second year, it’s so much easier and you can look back on the year(s) with fondness.