I’ve become really good at running Gangplank Chandler. Putting together systems, recruiting leaders and setting programming for a single location came naturally to me. Sure, there have been rough spots and I’ve been challenged, but nothing I couldn’t handle or reach for guidance.
Then came the first mention of me as Director of Global Operations. Pretty sure I’ve laughed it off the half-dozen times it’s been said. I knew in the back of my mind it was a fast approaching reality, but not one I really had time to digest.
Lately however, the concept has been hitting harder every day.
This is what I signed on for. When Derek and Jade asked me to come on staff more than a year-and-a-half ago, I knew I was becoming part of a misson larger than myself or Arizona. This is what I wanted – an opportunity to really challenge myself as a leader, to take ownership and help a local vision become an international game changer.
And it’s scary as all hell.
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I was sitting in a visioning meeting today. The only part of the meeting I felt I could contribute to was creating a story board for what a Gangplank of the future looked like. I got excited about envisioning a day in the life of a collaborative worker, as they travel to neighborhood Gangplanks around the world. As we moved into writing a vision statement, I lost interest.
I couldn’t think of the right words, or contribute thoughts that would explain the ‘why’ of Gangplank. I got asked repeatedly why I was so quiet and I knew if I want to truly be a leader in this movement, this is what people expect of me.
Am I not able to think in terms of the bigger picture? This has always a great fear of mine. As a doer and not a visionary, I fear I’m stunted when thinking in terms of mission. Sure I can think long-term, but in regards to logistics, financial, staffing and viability. Does this mean I shouldn’t be a part of these conversations? Am I capable of developing this leadership trait?
This is the opportunity I’ve been working towards since I left teaching. Nothing you truly want is ever easily obtained and the path is paved with self-doubt. But where do I turn for guidance? How can I train my right-brained way of life to think in terms of global change? There is no standard for what we do. We are paving the way and I’m not sure how to use the shovel.
I’ve got a lot of growing ahead of me and I’m taking a big leap of faith in believing I can do this. But hell, I’ve made it this far. And I’ve got some pretty smart people that believe I can.
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Global thinkers couldn’t do shit without you. Dont ever forget it, And what you do is right-brained and creative. Try not to doubt yourself, although we all do. I am always here for you and admire you greatly,
Katie,
You’re on the right track. Giving yourself a hard time is a good thing. It promotes growth but don’t let it ruin your day. Dissect it without emotion and ask yourself how to solve this issue. I think you’ll find that there are an overwhelming number of solutions. Trust yourself and quickly act. The faster you act, the faster you can change course if needed.
Much love and I’m always here for you if you need a sounding board.
Mad, mad props and I know you can do it, Katie!!!
I admit coming down the same path and working on the same things. So much easier for me to me to address the functional aspects of the business. The struggle is good for us though!
Strategery and beyond!